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Posts tagged ‘Weight Watchers’

New

I took a step back from blogging this week for some personal reasons which I’ll probably (maybe) write about some other time. I was exhausted by Wednesday of last week and then I ended up taking Friday off of work because my body decided to rebel against a new medication I’m taking. My husband had to call in sick for me. That’s pretty lame.

Still, I had some good runs this past week totaling 21 miles, including an eight-mile treadmill run on Saturday. I’m thankful for that run because I didn’t think I was going to be able to run on Saturday morning. After my Thursday to Friday night was filled with nausea on every level I figured it would take me days to recover.

I was planning on another run today, but decided, while my body is adjusting to the new medications, I’ve take it easy for a couple days.

But this week has been eventful on the buying front, for which I feel a little bad. (Seriously? How much gear do I need?)

I invested in the fine piece of jewelry above with Roman numerals for 26.2. I wanted to buy it after my first marathon, but didn’t feel all that legit doing so. I figured since San Diego was such a suffer fest, I’d reward myself with it now. It costs $52 from Endure Jewelry Co. out of Clovis, Calif., which is a couple hours from me.

I have another necklace from Endure. It says “run.” I wear it all the time.

I opted only for the charm this time and am buying another necklace elsewhere because my last Endure necklace was way short. I even opted for the larger size and it was too short. Live and learn. I’m sure that once I get the necklace for the charm, this will quickly become one of my favorite items to wear.

Also new are two Lululemon Run: Swifty Tank Racerback shirts. I have one in the pale pink color on the model in the link. I also went for a wild color to be noticed when I’m running.

It’s Lululemon’s “ray” color. You can see if kind of matches with my new kicks (which I’m loving, by the way, thank you for larger toe boxes Nike).

I now own three tanks for running. I’m kind of not a big fan of tanks because I found that most the time they don’t work for me. These ones do. I ordered the “ray” color first and then followed up and ordered the pink one. I kind of wished Lululemon had other colors for it.

By the way, I’ve been following the Lululemon craziness over at the website/Facebook page about the Barbie doll in the company’s clothes. I understand the marketing behind it. As a Barbie collector, I even want a doll. I think people take these things too seriously. It’s a doll. In yoga clothes. So what?

Also new?

I started back on Weight Watchers on Monday of last week.

I think I psychologically felt the need to bury it in a post with pretty things (Look necklace! Look bright top! Look fancy shoes!) because I don’t want to point out my weight.

I weighed in last week with a starting weight of 168.

This morning, I was at 164.5. My official weigh in day isn’t until Tuesday. I’m not sure if that’s water weight lost, but I feel much better. And I’m working on portions. (I weighed myself after lunch today and I was 166.)

I’m hoping if I admit it in the blog I’ll be more accountable for it. I’m liking PointsPlus better than the previous points system by far. I can nibble on fruits and vegetables and both are (mostly) 0 points. That’s a nice win.

I’ve eaten a lot more raspberries and blackberries in the past week. Tomorrow I have bananas and apples. Good stuff.

I’m hoping to run six to eight tomorrow too. And then do some speed work on Tuesday. I’m trying to ramp up a training plan that works for me as I track some running planning into the future. My next event is a six-hour endurance run. Then the San Francisco 1st Half Marathon on July 29.

My biggest hope is that the Weight Watchers will lead to some good weight loss by the endurance run, which will make me a happier run.

Lots of “new” happening right now.

It’s not really about the shoes (and other weighty issues)

Today, I bought a pair of shoes. They are a deep teal color and oh so perfect. The moment I put them on, it felt like heaven on my feet. So comfortable. They were $85. And I immediately felt guilty buying them.

It’s not because I’m in debt and the money needed to go somewhere else. In fact, I’ve been making extra payments on my student loans recently in an attempt to get them down. It’s not even because I felt somewhat bad buying something nice for myself.

It’s because buying shoes means something than entirely different to me than it does to most people.

It means I’ve gained more weight than I should have.

I hopped on the scale when I cam home today. I had just eaten. I weighed 174 pounds.

I can’t help but feel like a failure.

Two years ago when I was fed up with my weight I was nearly 200 pounds. I ran my ass off over a four month period, literally. I ate right with the help of Weight Watchers online. My weight bottomed out at 154. For the first time in a long time, I was happy.

My face had thinned (which is good because any weight gain for me automatically means my face balloons). My arms had too. I hadn’t looked that good in years. Really. It was life changing, game changing.

I followed the plan really well until sometime in May. Then, life happened.

My husband and I bought our first home. The day we moved in, I got a call to interview for the part-time position at the college I now teach at. It took us more than three months to settle into our new lives in a new house. For me it meant a somewhat longer commute, now across town before I got on the freeway. Lots of changes.

Then a very unplanned surgery for pain I’d been having in my abdomen for some time. It needed to happen. But I let it go and go until on the days it was bad, every step I took was excruciating. That set my running back for about six weeks. It also was my “fall of the wagon” moment.

I’m ashamed to say, I never got back on.

The two jobs didn’t help. I was crazy taking a part-time job when my full-time job was already stressful.  My diet got way out of whack. I wake up at a different time. My schedule is never the same from day to day. My husband has a hard time keeping track of me.

I have excuses.

Lots.

And I didn’t need the shoes.

I already have lots. (This is only one snapshot of my closest. I have lots and lots of boxes.)

I bought the shoes because shoes are kind of one size fits all. That size for me is an 8 1/2. Whether I gain or lose weight, the shoes will fit. (I have flat feet, inherited from my grandfather along with a predisposition to diabetes).

One size fits all. No matter how round my stomach is. No matter how fat my arms get.

I realized it almost immediately.

Probably because I headed over to Old Navy and started looking a shirts. Specifically a striped shirt. That’s not bright for a girl whose curves now seem over exaggerated and out of focus, wrongly proportioned.

I settled on two shirts that would hide my belly and cover my arms.

And a tank top. Because wearing a tank top under my shirt helps smooth out my belly hanging over my jeans.

I’ve failed myself.

Because this wasn’t the first thing I bought for myself with the same mentality.

A couple weeks ago it was a scarf at Target. I grabbed a bracelet somewhere else.

On payday this week, I bought a necklace.

It’s never about the shoes. There’s something much deeper at work here.

I need to drop those 20 pounds. I need to get back to where I was two years ago. I need to do better.

I need to make better choices.

Because right now I’m buying accessories to avoid buying clothes. I’m wearing cotton shirts and avoiding all other clothes because I need strength and comfort.

I’ve tried and failed in the past three weeks to start back on Weight Watcher again. I keep making up excuses about how I need more food in me to run, how I’ve have no energy if I don’t have the extra taco, etc.

But the truth is, I need to do better.

My wallet will thank me. But my body will too.

Here’s to finding a path back to 154.