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Feb 15

When anxiety rears its ugly head

Confession: Running, for me, has become more than just a way to stay fit. It’s also away to keep anxiety at bay. A couple years ago, I didn’t deal with it as much. Today? It has a tendency to rear its ugly head at the worst possible times.

Throughout my pregnancy, I’ve been trying to run two-milers where and when I could. I had a great maternity support belt and near the end of my second trimester, I felt really strong when I ran.

That was until a couple weeks ago when I suddenly started getting sharp pains in my abdomen where baby girl is currently taking up residence. I thought, maybe, she was starting to kick up in my ribs. I stopped running and took a shower, then sat down on the couch for awhile.

The pain didn’t let up. I ended up calling the advice nurse. I’ve also had some foot swelling, which means my running shoes aren’t fitting me as well, and other “symptoms” during the week. My husband and I were kind of freaking out. Turns out it was likely just Braxton Hicks contractions, which are painful and not really threatening.

I was told to keep my feet elevated. Drink a lot of fluids, as I normally do. And maybe ton it down on the workouts.

The downside is that the activity has been really helpful in keeping my weight in a “good place.”

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That’s my bump at 27 weeks. I’ll be 29 weeks tomorrow. I’m getting bigger and bigger each day. My center of gravity is WAY OFF what it typically is when I run marathons.

I’m also noting some atrophy of my leg muscles, which is making me a little sad. I’m gained about 15 pounds so far. The numbers keep inching up on the scale, closer to the 200 mark that I fought so hard to come down from four years ago. But this is a different kind of gain, obviously. I know that she’s gaining if I am.

The bottom line of the pain? My pregnant running is likely over. I stopped yoga for a couple weeks too, just to be safe.

The problem, though, is that the anxiety is starting to creep up again. In horrible ways.

Someone asked me the other day if I was “worried” about anything leading up to baby girl’s arrival.

I’M WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING.

The first trimester all I thought about was the risk of miscarriage. After regular bleeding the first eight weeks it was on my mind all the time. My husband, the optimist, kept telling me not to worry. But I had more ultrasounds in those early weeks than I want to admit. I kept going back to my OB just to make sure everything was going well. My blood pressure was high when I went in for those first appointments because my anxiety was through the roof. I just wanted to get in and make sure baby had a heartbeat.

The second trimester all I thought about was viability. Unsolicited advice often leads to worries, particularly when people who are trying to be helpful (I think), start talking about pre-term labor and preemie babies. I started to think to myself “I just have to make it to 26 weeks,” which is when baby’s chance of survival outside the womb increases dramatically. Every week after just adds to her chances.

I can’t say it’s not without cause that I’m worried. My doctor has noted my past diabetes diagnosis and those high blood pressure readings as reasons to worry. I’ve been told I likely will be induced if I don’t go into labor by my May 4 due date. In fact, baby may come early if my OB becomes worried about her at all. But ALL of those things just adds to my anxiety.

The third trimester all I think about is stillbirth. Statistics put the number of stillbirth at 1/160. When I spend time on my Baby Center birth board, though, I’m confronted with the reality more and more. It’s scary. It’s more than scary, it’s petrifying. My doctor and my husband told me to stop reading forums. I should know that myself after moderating forum comments for more than a year as an online editor.

If I distract myself during the day, I don’t think about it as much. But every now and then, if I don’t feel her wiggling around. Everyone keeps telling me that as much as I worry before she is born, I will worry more once she is here. I believe it.

Running kept all those ugly thoughts away. Now I’m relying on yoga to calm me. Baby girl isn’t quite sure she likes the yoga anymore either though. She’s been kicking up a storm when we do our last meditation exercise. And I’ve had to run to the bathroom more than I’d like. I’m thankful the yoga instructor has been very supportive of teaching a pregnant student.

On that note, we’re very much preparing for her to arrive. Her room is done, one of the things I made sure I did before I went back to school. Last weekend, my husband treated me to an early Valentine’s Day gift and we splurged on a 3D/4D ultrasound in a nearby city.

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We found out that she really, really looks like him. I love the image above because she looks exactly like him when he’s sleeping. He has a closely-shaved haircut and that same nose. I was excited to see her face. We also confirmed, definitely that she is a girl. I’d been worried since our anatomy ultrasound.

It’s good she’s a girl because her name is already up above her crib.

My baby shower date is set. My best friend Jennie and my sister are throwing it. I’m so thankful for that.

And my husband is getting nervous/excited. He bought her some baby leggings a couple weeks ago.

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The green is the color of my glider rocking chair. Her room is a mixture of sage green, chocolate brown and pink accents. Nothing over the top girly.

I’m excited that I’m “almost there,” but I’m also truly missing running and it’s ability to keep the bad thoughts at bay. I am starting to put together a plan for after she comes. Today I found out that I will be a See Jane Run Ambassador into the 2014-15 year. So baby’s first race will be the 5K in Alameda on June 22. I’m excited about the journey to get to the start.

Dec 31

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Close to the heart

I’ve started and stopped this post so many times in my head that I decided I had to finish it before 2013 was over. So today, on the last possible day I could, I decided it needed to come out.

A year ago exactly, I was 24 hours from an emergency room visit that led to another one, seven days later, where my gallbladder was removed during emergency surgery.

I remember looking down at the holes on my stomach realizing that the scars would never go away. More emotional wounds would open up in the following days, but my husband and I had decided, in my hospital room on Jan. 8, that I would not be returning to my job at the newspaper I once loved so deeply I could only imagine being dragged out dead.

My heart was broken because I knew no other way.

My wounds, in those early days of 2013, were both physical and emotional. My nerves were ravaged. My body was spent.

But those very trying early days of 2013 were also filled with an overabundance of love: From my husband, who promised me I’d find my path and things to “keep me busy.” From my close friends who helped me through and offered guidance. From my students, who showed me there was more to journalism than a city newspaper with declining circulation and staff numbers. From a former colleague who, without seeing any of my work, jumped on a chance to hire me as a freelancer.

Love surrounded me.

That love healed me in ways I will never, ever be able to explain.

And that love led me to her:

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When I found out I was pregnant in August, I thought I would blog every single milestone of it on here. I worried about this blog becoming less workout related, more mommy-ish.

I would start posts over and over again, but something kept stopping me: a new-found need to keep private matters very close to my heart, between my husband and I.

I’m not ending this blog by any means.

In fact, I have posts about running during pregnancy written (of note, there hasn’t been a lot of running because baby doesn’t seem to enjoy it and likes to remind me of that) and yoga (that has been essential in recent weeks). I’m yearning for my 10-milers, while only being able to squeak out two at a time right now on the treadmill.

I surprised myself last week when I register for the 2nd Half Marathon of the San Francisco Marathon for 2014. My due date is May 3. The race is July 29. I’m hedging my bets on a hope that I’ll have a natural delivery and be able to get back to running quickly, for my self and my sanity. I’ve been missing my mid-length runs of six to eight miles especially.

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But my center of gravity has recently shifted enough to cause me issues. My saving grace has been my Gabrialla Elastic Maternity Belt. I bought one on recommendation from another blogger. I can’t recommend it enough.

I’m getting bigger and bigger, obviously, as I get closer to my due date. My first trimester was rough. I slept a lot. I’ve never been more thankful for a forgiving freelance schedule and part-time teaching position. I was sleeping 12+ hours a day at one point. I fell asleep nearly everywhere I sat down. I also had to stop running as a precaution, for awhile, because of bleeding. (Sorry for the TMI, but sometimes this sort of thing is linked to running. My OB told me it was likely not the running. It happens to a lot of women.)

As I worked through all this, I realized that I didn’t want to share, let alone overshare, things about my life. Call it innate need to keep my private life private, but I just felt like not blogging every element of my life was the most appropriate action.

My husband has always been a more private person than me. Part of the reason I used my maiden name professionally for so long is because I wanted him to be able to keep that privacy. Scary things happen to journalists. My grandmother used to get phone calls for me because she was the only person in the phone book listed with the same last name.

I didn’t want that happening at home.

So when my husband asked me not to blog specific things, I listened and understood.

At 20 weeks, though, we found out that baby is a girl. Or at least according to our ultrasound tech, who said: “I wouldn’t tell you if I wasn’t sure.” I’m still having moments where I think we should maybe have that checked again. That’s my anxiety peaking up …

In any case, at 22 weeks I’m feeling as good as someone who is watching all her running clothes slowly shrink up can. It’s kind of been funny to figure out which of my workout clothes still fit me on any given day. As much crap as Lululemon has received recently for comments made by the founder, my Lululemon clothes are stretching nicely over my belly.

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A different in belly shots, though you can’t really see much since both photos are shot at different lengths from the mirror. On the right, I’m wearing my 2011 California International Marathon shirt and a Lululemon Run: Swiftly shirt in my regular size 10.

I’m still very grateful for long tank tops that have extended the life of my regular clothes, though by the time I go back to teaching in late January I’m pretty sure it will be ALL maternity clothes for the next few months.

So there’s been a lot happening in my life over the past couple months.

I’m finally getting to a point where I’m ready to share my triumphs, fears, successes and apprehensions again. But after sharing so much in late 2012 and early 2013, I really wanted this first part of my pregnancy to be private and special to my husband and I.

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I can’t promise a quick return or regular posts again, particularly because I still very much want this blog to be health and fitness centered. But I am letting myself add in the stuff about pregnancy and our baby girl on the way.

As can be imagined, I’m extremely excited for 2014 to begin. I’m excited about some potential (as in I’m crossing my fingers tightly) career happenings on the way later in the year, the amazing work I’m doing now (so many website builds, so little time) and, of course, our little one coming.

I’m also looking forward to eventually getting back to running more frequently. One step at a time. Always moving forward. Because now I know another way.

Sep 18

Harnassing the power of algae: An Energy Bits review

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We know algae as the gross green stuff that sits on the top of pools, collects along unclean patios and, generally, causes even the less squeamish of us all to make a contorted face when thinking about it.

It’s kind of gross. A microscopic view of it, as seen below thanks for Wikimedia Commons, doesn’t help the organisms case at all.

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So you can imagine my trepidation when I started seeing my fellow running bloggers, particularly in my Fit Approach Sweat Pink group, talking about the wonders of Energy Bits, an algae-based fuel source. Then I got interested. Because it just seemed so bizarre.

I mean, for real? People are eating algae? This can’t be right.

Doesn’t it taste bad? Make you gag? Upset the stomach?

So I did what I do when I’m interested in something, but not quite sold on the idea: I stalked the Energy Bits Twitter account. I’m not even ashamed.

The things I learned:

  1. The Energy Bits Twitter account and social media crew is VERY responsive. It’s probably the most responsive Twitter account I’ve ever seen in all of the running-related Tweets I’ve done over the past couple years.
  2. The bits are RAVVED about. People seriously love them. And swear by them.
  3. Probably the most important of all: The bits don’t taste gross.

Now the last one I didn’t believe. I mean, this is a type of algae. It HAS to taste bad. Nope, I was told. If I swallowed them down with water, I likely wouldn’t taste anything at all.

That’s when I was offered a sample trial of Energy Bits by the Twitter-handler and Energy Bits Director of Social Marketing Jonathan. I jumped at the chance, especially because I’ve have stomach issues all summer that have caused me to rethink my fueling strategies in general.

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So I was really excited when I received a package from Energy Bits. I opened it up and looked through all the informational material, which included a breakdown of the Spirulina algae that makes up the 100-percent natural, one-calorie per tab product.

“Run better with bits” a postcard in the package said, saying each tab is all vegan, all raw, all non-GMO, all Kosher and includes more than 40 vitamins and minerals, as well as 64-percent protein and antioxidants.

So much stuff. Such a small little tablet.

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And yes, the tabs are green. They have a bit of a “fishy” smell to them. I guess it’s less “fishy” more “aquarium.” That’s part of the reason Energy Bits actually recommends swallowing the bits since, according to the literature, they “taste very green.”

Since I didn’t want to taste anything green, I did as told.

I put the bits to the ultimate test. About a month ago I had a VERY LONG day ahead of me that included an early-morning run with friends, teaching, meetings and evening code work. They are “Energy Bits” I figured, so I was hoping that instead of turning to a Diet Coke or a Five-Hour Energy boost, I’d try this.

The makers actually suggest using Bits to “jump start” the day to keep hunger and fatigue away. Sold. Let’s do it, I figured.

I downed the recommended 30 bits, which took a good-sized chunk out of my tin. I’ll admit that it took me awhile. I’ve never been good at taking more than one pill at once, so this was a challenge. I had the Bits with orange juice because I was really afraid of tasting the “green.” I never did.

Here’s a look at how Energy Bits got me through a very long day:

SIX-MILE RUN WITH FRIENDS

My 4:45 a.m. wake-up call is always hard. About 10-minutes after taking the Bits, I left the house and headed out to a neighboring community for a run. I was running on tired legs. Ten minutes into my run, I felt different. I was increasing speed. I wasn’t sluggish. In fact, it was one of the best runs I’ve had in a very long time.

At the end, I honestly felt like I could add on another four miles and still feel great … but I didn’t have the time.

MEETING WITH STUDENTS

After running home and getting cleaned up, I rushed to school for a meeting with my editing staff. After an early-morning run, I’d usually need a caffeine pick me up to get me through. But I was really active and energetic as we discussed possible stories for the beginning of the semester. By 11 a.m. I’m usually downing a Diet Coke or searching for something surgery.

I didn’t have one of those “craving” moments.

LUNCH

I’ve readily admitted that I overeat at times. But on this day, after a quick snack in the morning and a large bottle full of water (I’m always hydrating), I didn’t feel the need to scarf down my lunch. In fact, I ate slower because I wasn’t as hungry. Still no cravings for something sweet.

AFTERNOON/EVENING ACTIVITIES

I was probably more awake than I’ve been all semester so far that day. By the time I left campus, after another meeting, I was starting to think I could chalk it up to a good night’s sleep. But it was definitely the Energy Bits. I was still feeling energetic by the time I got home and made dinner. I even slept better at night.

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I’m a big “I’ll believe it when I see it person,” so I can truly say that Energy Bits are for real. Not only was I propelled through my morning run, but also through the rest of my day. The best part is that Energy Bits are all natural, so there was no “crash” at the end of the day. But the bits were also kind to my very cranky stomach.

I took them down in the morning with no issues during the day. My only regret is that I kind of “wasted” them on a day I only had a six-mile run. I would have loved to see how they preformed on a longer run, maybe even a 15-miler. But by the time I tested them out, my stomach issues had already made me decided that I wouldn’t be running a marathon at the end of this month.

Now for the fun part: You can enter for a chance to try Energy Bits.

The folks at Energy Bits are offering a sample of one of my readers so that you, too, can say to your friends: “Oh, don’t mind me over here. I’m just taking some algae!” And then get interested and amazed looks. That’s the truth. My friends thought I was nuts.

Enter below. And earn more entries by liking Energy Bits on Facebook or Twitter. I’m closing the giveaway on Oct. 2, so enter now!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Jul 31

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Issues of the core

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I once thought of 2012 as “year of the distance.” I did two marathons in 2012. I ran even more half marathons. I trained hard. I worked harder. I pushed and pushed. And I ended up in a place physically and mentally I didn’t want to be in.

All of that action in 2012 meant that my body was overtaxed come Jan. 1 when a gallbladder attack landed me in the hospital begging for pain medication. The doctor that day didn’t know what to do. This episode was my third time in three years in the emergency room for this pain. I felt like my abdomen was exploding. I was projectile vomiting. My husband felt my head on the less-than-a-mile drive to the hospital. I was burning up.

Four hours later I was dosed up on Dilaudid, because Morphine makes me feel like I’m on fire, and sent home. After months off of work in late 2012, I made the dumb decision to go to work and tough it out.

I spent the entire week in pain. The sharp side soreness stayed with me for the entire week. I was throwing up my breakfast every morning. I was trying to get an appointment with my then general practitioner. But with New Year’s and everything else, the pain just got worse. Seven days later, I woke up in the middle of the night and tried everything I could to make the pain go away. At 3 a.m. I collapsed on the stairs.

By 9 a.m. I was being wheeled into an unexpected surgery to remove my gallbladder.

I spent all of January and much of February recovering. In the process, I noticed something right off: My core was not bouncing back as quickly as I would have liked. I just kept feeling, more and more, like I got kicked in the stomach.

Then in March, right when I was starting to do some core work and build my midsection strength back up, I fell and broke my arm.

Needless to say, any exercise that involved my arms was out.

I kept feeling “pressure pain” when I applied any sort of force to my left arm. I’d catch myself pulling back if I tried to lift something too quickly. All  this time, my core was losing every bit of strength I had built up in three years of running.

Since June, I’ve noticed a significant impact on my running ability due to my core issue. I also realized that I had let the problem go for so long that I was lacking motivation to actually do something about it. That’s when I started asking my friends if they had suggestions.

One gave me pretty clear guidance: Yoga.

It’s good for the body, mind and soul, she told me. That’s kind of a win-win, because I’m in need of healing, even after all this time, from the damage I did to myself in 2012. So I made the first step to regaining my core official when I purchased a Groupon deal for a 20 drop-in sessions at a yoga studio in my city, right on the edge of town.

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This is the view from the parking lot. It kind of invokes the calmness I was going for.

I stepped into a yoga studio for the first time in more than six years last week. I was pleasantly surprised with my performance. I’m not nearly as agile as many of the other students, but I held my own.

I’ll admit that it hurt. I was afraid my muscles were going to lock up  and then cramp up at a couple points during the hour-long class. I slipped a little on my yoga mat, which I’ve actually owned since 2006 when I did an internship in Colorado and took a couple yoga classes there (because I got to do yoga at a place called Garden of the Gods and you can’t go wrong with those views either).

I’m not calling this move a success just yet, but I did feel better about my core after the first time. I was able to balance myself well. I didn’t fall flat on my face. I struggled, but for a beginner I felt like I gave it my best. And, according to my yoga instructor, that’s what it is about.

Jul 13

You’re a runner when …

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I had one of those “you know you’re a runner when” moments yesterday while my husband was stranded on the side of Interstate 80 above Colfax, more than 100 miles from our home in Tracy, an exburb of the San Francisco Bay Area.

Nevermind the fact that his 1998 Toyota Camry had likely climb its last hill, I was staring down a major sloped incline and all I could do was think about how instead of running out the door as quick as possible in my running clothes with sandals on, I should have grabbed my Nikes.

Well, I did grab my Nikes.

Just not the right ones.

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Those are not my running shoes. And lucky for everyone who reads this blog, my black toenails aren’t showcased in this lovely photo.

My husband waited more than two hours for me to make the journey up to get him. I had to drop my freelance work after solving a particularly messy navigation issue with a more-complex-than-I’d-like CSS hack. I was about to celebrate when I noticed a call on my phone went straight to voicemail.

Then I had a text message from my husband that said: “Call me!”

1) My husband rarely leaves voicemail or calls twice to get me. 2) My husband doesn’t text often. I’m still not quite sure he knows how. He owns an old-school Samsung flip phone. We talk about moving him to a smart phone, which I’ve had for about five years now, but he never seems too motivated to do so. He just usually borrows my iPhone.

It’s with that knowledge that I present his poor, 1998 Camry.

He bought it five years ago. It’s his commuter car. He puts roughly 120 miles on it every work day (he works 9/80s, so he gets three-day weekends every other week from his engineering job in the Bay Area). He’s put 200,000 miles on it since he purchased it from a private owner.

We’ve known for awhile that it likely was on it’s last leg. But it was a good car and measured good gas mileage.

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Photo editing note: I blurred the license plate. Because no one needs to see that.

It’s a little heartbreaking. Not a lot, though. He’s more heartbroken that he won’t get to go camping this weekend like he had planned. Instead, I had to bring him and all his camping equipment home, which barely fit in our Jeep. The car is being towed to my parents’ house in Stockton (closer to our AAA 100-mile tow coverage) and we’re going to decide what to do with it.

But it’s not going to hit the freeway again.

We bought our Jeep last fall when my Camaro started giving me problems (ever seen a V6 on fire? I had a moment, or twenty, with that car on the way back from the Bay Area after the Nike Women’s Half Marathon Expotique last year, smoke, losing power, all the things that make a person freak out, on the Altamont of all places).

We ended up getting the Camaro repaired for less than we thought it would be, so we decided to “garage it” and baby it a little more.

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Unfortunately for me that means I’m turning over my Jeep keys to my husband for awhile. The Camaro, which gets amazing gas mileage for a 11-year-old sports car, can’t handle the extra miles. It would end up in the same position as the Toyota.

We’re looking for a used commuter car, but not quite in a rush to get one yet. I’ll be driving my Camaro again, which won’t be nearly as much as I was driving it before. My full-time job as a journalist meant that I was racking up mileage on my car every time I did an assignment.

Sure, we got paid for the gas, but the wear and tear on a car isn’t compensated. Now I drive to work and am there all day. I come. I go. That’s about it. I even walk to lunch because it’s pointless getting in my car to go somewhere.

My husband, while sad, did make sure to grab his Chico State license plate frame from the car. To me, that marks the point where you know your vehicle is really gone.

And I’m still regretting not bringing my running shoes to get in hill repeats. For real.

Jul 8

After the long weekend

Lots of new things, lots of changes and lots of moving forward hit today after the long weekend. These things happened in both my little running world and the running world abroad.

Here’s a couple updates/changes I noticed that took effect after the long weekend:

IFITINESS NO MORE?

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I woke up this morning to a Facebook status update on my phone that I didn’t recognize as something I had previously “liked.” I looked at the profile and realized that iFtiness had changed it’s company name to Fitletic.

The website addresses the name change specifically:

“We believe that the name change better captures the company’s mission of providing premium ergonomically designed endurance accessories that allow fitness athletes to unleash their performance potential.”

I love, love, love my iFitness band. My first concern was that the company was no longer going to making these awesome products. I was especially worried because mine seems to be nearing replacement age. I was relieved when I saw that the bands were all still available on the website, just with a different name written in silver letters.

LUBRICATION NEEDED

My treadmill was starting to have an awful smell to it if my runs were getting a little long. On Saturday night, when I failed to run the color-run type 5K, I ran eight miles in the evening instead.

It wasn’t even warm but I started to smell something a little burnt.

I know my treadmill needs a new drive belt. I’m going to replace it once I get paid for my freelance work from the month of June. I’m actually hoping my husband can replace it for me. The “treadmill guy” from a couple years ago said he would only change $75 to come and service it if I already knew what was wrong with it.

But I also know my husband, the engineer, can probably tackle it as well.

That can wait, lubing it up couldn’t. I grabbed the kit I purchased awhile back from Amazon.com. I’m nearly out of the lube that came with it, but I poured it on and spent a good amount of time trying to work the “wand” in between the deck and the tread belt. It seems to work a little better now, but definitely still in need of a drive belt replacement.

RYAN HALL GOES SOLO, AGAIN

Runner’s World is reporting that marathoner Ryan Hall is now self-coached again, dropping an Italian coach he’s only been with for less than half at year.

The article says he’ll go back to “faith-based coaching.”

Every time I think I’m doing well in running, I remind myself that with coaching I could probably be so much better. Then I realize that even the best athletes don’t work well with coaches all the time. Would coaching work for me? I don’t know.

More power to Hall for striking it out on his own again.

STRIDEBOX TWEETS MADE ME ENVIOUS, THEN I GAVE IN

A month ago, I saw the StrideBox booth at an expo. I was tempted then, but I didn’t sign up because I wanted to know more about the service before committing.

In the past 24 hours, I’ve seen numerous tweets about how excited people are after receiving their July StrideBox. I looked at some of the images. This month’s box includes a water bottle, energy bars and hydration tablets. The water bottle alone would be worth the $15 in many cases.

I looked at some previous tweets and realized that other packages included some sort of “gear” item too. I was sold. Look at what the StrideBox has to offer:

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The animated gif is from StrideBox.com where runner’s came sign up for the $15 a month membership.

The boxes promise “stuff runners want.” After I signed up Ashley over at Rather Be Runnin’ also highly recommended it just a little bit ago on Twitter.

Since I signed up today, I won’t actually get my first StrideBox until August, according to the tweets responding to customers today. But I’m looking forward to it. And will definitely review it on the blog once I receive it.

CALIFORNIA WINS IN MARATHONS

In 2006 and 2007, I did out-of-state newspaper internships in Colorado and Texas. I actually looked to leave the state both summers because, as a California resident, I got in-state tuition at University of California, Berkeley’s Graduate School of Journalism. I figured that instead of competing against the other students who needed to be in the state to get in-state tuition that second year, I’d just expand my horizons.

Both years, when people asked me if I’d considered leaving California. I was so tempted in Texas. I loved the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex area. I probably had the best summer of my life in Dallas.

But I love California and it’s not just because I was born and raised here. California has a vast variety of climates and cities that make every part of it diverse.

So it’s not surprising that Runner’s World reported today that California has the most marathons with 61.

To think, I’ve only run four of those: California International Marathon (twice), Rock ‘n’ Roll San Diego, San Luis Obispo Marathon and the San Francisco Marathon. I think I have a lot of groundwork to cover in this state before I start a 50-state quest.

Jun 28

Juxtaposing the negatives with the positives

Some days you wake up and just know that it’s not going to be a good one. The day just takes on a certain “air” to it. Today was one of those days, for various reasons.

Today was the first day since I left my full-time newspaper job that I was genuinely frustrated. More frustrated than I can even relay. See that face? That’s what I looked like at 6 a.m. this morning when I realized that a name server propagation that I started the day before still wasn’t showing up for me. The good news is that my boss could see it.

So could the client. But any necessary changes would be completely unseen by me.

Head. Hits. Desk. In. Frustration.

The site turned out to be fine, a beautiful culmination of four-months of work. It was one of those issues, the first in a long time, I had to admit was completely out of my control. I couldn’t make anything happen faster. I did everything correct. It just wasn’t showing up for me. Hence the 6 a.m. wake-up call for me.

And, yes, those are my running clothes. And my husband has a Samuel Adams mirror. My new “schedule” lately has been waking up early, working for about three hours, then heading out for a run before it hit the triple-digit temperatures we’ve been getting in Northern California lately.

As I was trying to navigate through all of that, I also remembered that today was the day I should be checking my email for word from Nike about random-draw entry into the Nike Women’s Half Marathon. A huge group of ladies from my running club signed up, and a man or two. I’ve mentioned before my luck over the past two years.

In 2011, I didn’t get in through random draw. But I got to run as part of a sponsored team. In 2012, my running club group was accepted through random draw.

This year? Not so much.

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As much as I wasn’t surprised and slightly relieved that the $175 race fee wouldn’t be deducted from my American Express, I was really sad for the women in the running club who wanted this to be their first half marathon.

And it’s still kind of a bummer. But it, essentially, solidified my race calendar for the rest of 2013.

But as much as I wanted to rebel against the Nike random draw and say “buy all the Lululemon things instead” (one of my friends did that, apparently, I like that idea), I realized that the positives in my running life and my life in general are completely outweighing the negative.

Sometimes you need to be reminded about things like that. These are the things I’m thankful for right now:

SITE LAUNCHES

A year ago, I felt like I was fighting never-ending battles and getting nowhere. My creativity was hampered. I just felt like I was going nowhere in my profession anymore. There was no growth personally or professionally.

Today marked the fourth (or fifth?) site that I’ve helped launched that I’ve worked on. And this one was MASSIVE. I spent an enormous amount of time on it over the past few months. When a site finally goes live, there’s just a feeling that encompasses both relief, but also great satisfaction that I did something amazing.

I’m thankful that I’m back to growing in my work and learning new things every day.

EATING REAL FOOD

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I didn’t make mention of it here, because I was still a little unsure of making a commitment, but about a month ago, I decided that my husband and I were no longer eating quick-pasta meals, frozen pizzas or anything that came out of a box in our freezer. At least for dinner.

I’ve had some severe stomach issues in the last two months, thanks to my missing gallbladder (which I still, for the record, don’t miss). I’ve had to trim down even more from what I was eating even two months ago. My body is rebelling.

Since I’ve cut out a lot of processed things, that’s stopped. Unfortunately I can’t cut down on ALL processed food. My husband doesn’t support that diet. He should, but he’s a spice-it-up-and-cook-it-to-taste-good-even-if-it’s-not-all-that-healthy guy. That said, I realized in the middle of my site launch last night that I hadn’t yet eaten dinner.

I buckled and went to McDonald’s. I immediately regretted it. And my stomach made me very aware it was not happy. Back to real food.

HIP HEALTH

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Ignore my slightly-dirty running clothes. That’s my ever-offending left hip that’s been giving me problems. On Wednesday, I ran seven miles in the morning. Then I went out to Mountain House and ran three with my running club. I even kept pace with the lead runner.

goodbad1My leg wasn’t screaming at me at all. In fact, it felt nice to get out and run a faster, stronger pace. That was my longest-distance day of the week. I realized that I’m oh-so-close to 100 miles, which I’ve told myself repeatedly isn’t my goal each month.

But with two days left, I’m eight miles away. I’m not feeling bad. I’m running well. And the stupid hip injury may have just been a symptom of pretty significant overuse (someone remind me not to book five races in a two-month period), instead of something more permanent.

I’m keeping my paces mostly slow, but if I can keep going at this rate, I should be able to pick the pace back up in a week or so.

PREVIOUS ACCOMPLISHMENTS

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Most people run Nike for a necklace. I’ve run it the past two years because I wanted to challenge myself. It’s a tough course. It’s a beautiful course. But it’s not the only San Francisco-based run that goes along that route.

In fact, the first half of the San Francisco Marathon covers nearly an identical route, except in the last couple miles.

The necklace is a nice touch. It’s a beautiful gift. But both my Nike Women’s Marathon necklaces aren’t exactly my favorite necklaces ever. I have a roman numeral 26.2 necklace that I love more. I’m more afraid of losing my Nike necklaces than anything. So I don’t wear them often.

I would have been excited if I got in. But the price increase this year kind of turned me off.

But you know what? I’ve run five marathons. In August, I’m running my 20th half marathon.

“I didn’t get in,” I pouted to my husband earlier.

“Boo hoo,” he replied back.

As much as I’d love to get a reprieve entry and, maybe, run it, I’m good with the wait until next year. No running over to the Nike Facebook page and complaining about how unfair it is. No crying. No regrets.

It’s just another race. Two years ago it meant the world to me, because it was the one race I saw myself doing that crazy first-year of running half marathons. I’ve been lucky enough to run it.

I’ve mentioned before how I’ve cut down on races year after year. I think 2014 will include even fewer. I think most people will think it’s for financial reasons, but in reality it’s not. It’s because I’m running better, with not as much stress weighing on me. That’s making embrace running more and really want to put 100-percent into a race. I can’t do that racing twice a month, even if one race is a 10K.

So I’m cutting back. I realized when finishing the San Francisco Marathon that after five marathons, I’m finally understanding 26.2 better. I don’t think 2014 will be the “year of the marathon” like this has turned into the “year of the PR,” but I’m becoming less anxious about the goals I once considered “unattainable.”

Now everything is a little bit more within reach.

Jun 15

A quick trip to San Francisco (and race shirts gone awry)

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My husband accompanied me for a very quick trip to San Francisco today to pick up race packet for Sunday’s 26.2. I mean quick. We weren’t even in the expo for an hour. We were trying to get into the city and back home before all the Bay Area rush-hour traffic hit. The good news is that we were successful.

First off: Why did I sign up for a marathon that marathoners fear? Am I that crazy? The answer is yes.

I’m kind of over expos. I’ve been to a lot of them in the past couple months. I’m just tired. I’ve purchased what I’ve needed to at other ones recently.

I usually make a day of my trip to the San Francisco Marathon expo. This year I’ve just been too busy and too exhausted to make that happen. So I settled for the speedy trip.

The expo was larger this year, occupying the whole San Francisco Concourse Exhibition Center. The past two years runners have entered on the complete opposite side. This year, I was a little confused with the address and directions.

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It was like a completely new place.

First things first, we headed to bib pickup. Except I went where it said “1st Half” and “Marathon.” But it was actually “1st Half Marathon,” the run that I did last year. When I asked where my bib number pickup was, the volunteer told me to “go ask the service desk.”

Yeah … all she had to do was point me across the aisle where the full marathon bibs were.

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I was handed by “swag bag.” Unlike the Rock ‘n’ Roll series races, these bags actually change every year. The first year it was four racing shoes on a bag. Last year, the bag commemorated the 75th Anniversary of the Golden Gate Bridge. This year, it’s a nice homage to the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge.

We then headed to the shirt booth.

And things got a little weird.

The shirts look just like the bags and are nicely designed. I actually love them more than the half marathon ones last year, which had the corporate sponsor emblazoned across the chest. I kind of hate that. These are much more simple.

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The front includes a smaller logo on the left-hand side. Yellow is obviously the color for the full marathon this year.

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Maybe it’s just me, but when you write “26.2” on a shirt, it’s kind of implied that it’s the “full marathon.” I’m not actually as hung up with that about these shirts. Almost immediately, the people around me started talking about the race shirts. Right at the booth.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I heard a woman say before I even looked at the shirt.

I turned toward her. I’m sure I looked concerned.

“This is just bad,” she added later.

Then I saw it.

The sleeves were really short. I looked at my size medium shirt. I realized there was no way it would fit across my torso. I’ve asked for mediums for the past two years from the San Francisco Marathon. Both times I had no issues with fit. I still wear my 2011 half marathon one a lot.

I know I’m not supposed to, but I immediately went back and asked to exchange.

“There’s no way this will fit me,” I said. The volunteer sympathized. She probably shouldn’t have. I’m sure there will be people in the next few days that won’t get their size large shirts because of people like me, but I could make fit half my torso in that shirt. I thought she’d handed me a small. So did my husband.

The large fit me better, except for in the sleeves.

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Well. OK. Smallish.

It couldn’t be that bad, though, right? I put it on when I got home and realized it was more of a 3/4 length sleeve than a full sleeve.

Then I compared it to past race shirts.

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Hello short sleeves! I’m pretty sure this is a good compromise actually. Some people want long sleeves. Others want short. This one hits somewhere in the middle.

People on the San Francisco Marathon Facebook page are complaining about the “boxy” cut of the shirt. I didn’t notice that so much. Instead, I noticed the smaller-than-usual head hole, which is bad for me because I have a large head.

The sizing, though, is similar.

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The shirt from 2011 is about the same length. Folded over it shows a difference, but it is really about the same length. I don’t mind the length. I have a longer torso, so most race shirts don’t fit me too well. That’s why I like the longer Lululemon shirts as an under layer.

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As for quality, the shirts are similar quality. I think last year’s shirt, with the nice screen printing, looked and felt nicer, but it’s essentially the same fabric. I actually think the yellow is maybe just a tad more lightweight.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it now: Race shirts divide people. Pretty significantly.

And the race shirts at this race, one of the biggest runs I do, have divided people repeatedly over the past three years. The first year people complained about the dark grey used on the marathon shirts (Too dark! I can’t see the design!) and the half marathon shirts (I hate orange! I don’t like the words on the sleeve!). In 2012, people complained about the corporate logo (I hate brands across my chest!) or the color (Why Blue? That’s so boring!).

There’s always something. You can’t make everyone happy. That said, I do like the design this year. And I don’t necessarily mind if the sleeves are short because I like to roll them up anyway.

That said, I only really had three goals when I went to the San Francisco Marathon expo today.

  • Pick up my race packet.
  • Check my status for the “52 Club.”
  • Register for the Berkeley Half Marathon.

I took care of the race packet. Then I turned around and checked out the “52 Club” booth. I wanted to confirm that my name was on the list so when I finished the marathon, I’d be entitled to the “52 Club” sweatshirt.

I admit, I ran the first year for fun. The second year for the Half-It-All bling. And this year for the sweatshirt.

I didn’t expect to be handed the sweatshirt BEFORE finishing the race. But the nice guy at the booth handed it right over to me.

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That makes me even more nervous about running on this slightly battered leg. I’m already not sure I’m going to be able to make it through. When he handed me the sweatshirt, I kind of wanted to refuse it. I haven’t exactly earned it yet.

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That’s the logo on the back of it. It’s pretty inconspicuous. But I kind of love it. It makes me really eager to finish the full marathon. On my gimp leg and all.

The third goal was to register for the brand new Berkeley Half Marathon. Registration opened for it today. At the expo, it was 20% off the $65 price. It came to $55 for a single registration. That’s a steal for a half marathon. I was able to sign both Sam and I up for the half marathon. It’s Nov. 24, the Sunday before Thanksgiving.

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I’m really, really excited about this race. I love the Oakland Half Marathon. It was my first half marathon in 2011. It’s one of my favorites. I’ve run it now three times. I signed up for it because I love the community of Oakland. I lived there for two years while I was in graduate school. I went to graduate school at University of California, Berkeley.

So Berkeley represents just as much to me. So I was excited when I saw the announcement posted on the San Francisco Marathon’s Facebook page. I’m so excited that I decided to sign up even though I was hoping my race season would be done in October. I have a lot going on in the later part of the year, including being a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding.

But now I’m registered to run Berkeley.

So I, essentially, accomplished everything I set out to do on Friday.

Now all I have to do is run the 26.2 miles. For the first time in a long time, I’m really nervous. It’s not just the 13.1 I’ve been running in recent weeks. It’s twice the distance. On a still bothered leg. I’m hoping for the best.

But I’m also crossing my fingers for a good race, a sub six-hour finish and an amazing run.

May 7

Going the distance (at any distance)

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Horrible reproduction, right? Pixelated photos are so 2008. I normally wouldn’t post a photo this grainy on my blog, but it’s one of only about three I have from my first 5K. I wasn’t “into” running then. I hop on the treadmill from time to time, usually only when I was feeling really heavy or unsatisfied with myself.

Running didn’t become part of my life for good until 2010.

But that first 5K was a monumental stepping stone for me. It was the first time I’d run that distance. I trained hard for that race, but not nearly as hard as I should have. I hurt afterwards. I felt miserable at parts during the run itself. But I also felt victorious when I finished it.

I felt on top of the world.

As spring winds down, there are races nearly every weekend now in my area. A lot of people are out running their first 5K, 10K, half marathon or marathons right now.

There are training plans all over the Internet to get runners to that next pivotal step in their running journey. But many of them don’t cover what to do to prepare for the day you walk up to the start line and get ready to go on that first run.

Here are some tips to make it through a race, whether it’s 3.1 miles or 26.2.

HYDRATE PROPERLY THE DAYS BEFORE

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That happy face? By the end of my first 5K I was panting and my legs were cramping up with a pain I had never experienced before. I didn’t know why until another runner mentioned to me, when I was complaining to my husband about how bad I felt (“…like I was hit by a truck…”), that I likely needed to be more hydrated.

I’m always worried about multiple trips to the portable toilet before a race. So in the beginning my strategy was to not drink anything so I could avoid those trips.

Don’t do that. Ever.

In fact, as a runner you should regularly be hydrating. I carry around a 25-ounce bottle of water and usually refill it once or twice a day. This is especially true now that it’s warmer outside. Keep drinking water.

Now that hydration is a regular part of my life, I don’t worry so much about those morning of bathroom trips. I’m not drinking a ridiculous amount of water in the morning to catch up now.

Hydration helps you avoid injury and cramps. It will also help you get through a new distance feeling better at the end. Take it from someone who learned the hard way.

SET REALISTIC GOALS

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That typically means being less concerned about time and more concerned about finishing.

I hate to tell people to “aim low.” But in reality, the first time you run a new distance, you should really train yourself to focus on making it through. I’m one of those people who went out way too fast in my first half marathon. Then, by the end, I looked like the above photo. I was exhausted.

I just wanted to be done.

Then at mile 10, I hit “the wall” and I’ll never forget it. My chest felt tight. My body felt like it was shutting down.

But I went into that race with one goal: finish it.

My second goal was to finish in under three hours. I figured I’d factor in some extra time as padding.

When I finished in 2:35:36 I accomplished both those goals.

I know people who make grand plans for finishing races, saying they want to have an instant PR or qualify for Boston during their first marathon. Some people do. More mortal types like me don’t. And that’s not a reason to throw in the towel.

DON’T THROW IN THE TOWEL WHEN IT GOES BAD

I’ve seen it happen. In fact, at a recent race, I recognized the symptoms of a Did Not Finish (DNF) happening right next to me as I hit mile 8 in the Oakland Half Marathon.

A woman next to me was making pretty good time. But that was my perception of it. Not hers.

She was running at a conversational pace with a friend. And she starting talking about dropping out of the race.

“I’m not going to make my 2:10 goal,” she said. “I wanted my first half to be a decent one.”

OK. A 2:10 would be a PR for me. If I could get myself to a 2:10 half marathon, I’d be over the moon happy.

Not her. She wasn’t. I ran ahead, setting my own personal PR. I waited around at the finish to see if that woman and her friend came through the chute. I saw her friend only a couple minutes after me. I never saw the women. That’s not to say she didn’t finish, but it kind of stuck with me.

I know a person who had two DNF in half marathons before she could finish one. She gave up halfway through the first two times because, in her words, she “couldn’t complete the distance.” She had run the 10-milers. She’d trained for 14 weeks. But she couldn’t do it come race morning.

The moment you start to doubt is the moment it can all go bad. Don’t let a couple bad miles ruin a race, especially if it’s the first time you’ve run the distance. I promise, you’ll feel better when you finish. And you’ll likely want to sign up for another one.

NOTHING NEW ON RACE DAY

Gear is important. You will likely carry something with you during a run, even if it’s just your car keys. I carry more stuff the longer the distance. But the key is knowing what works for you and just how little or how much you need to get through your run. Here’s a breakdown of what I carry with me over the four distances:

5K — Phone, usually in the pocket of my capris.

10K — iFitness belt, phone, two packs of Vanilla Bean Gu, small 12-ounce water bottle

Half marathon — iFitness belt, phone, five packs of Gu, 20-ounce water bottle

Marathon — iFitness belt, phone, $5 (never know when you’ll need money), 9 packs of Gu, 20-ounce water bottle

I also plan out what I am going to wear and test it at least twice on a longer run. For my half marathon, I wore a nice Dri-Fit shirt that I had worn on numerous eight and 10-mile runs during training. I also wore a pair of capris that I had run quite a few times too.

There’s a reason a lot of people don’t wear the race shirt on race day. It’s not because it’s “lame” as some people think. It’s actually because untested race wear is definitely not recommended. You could chafe. You could also be incredibly uncomfortable the entire race.

Just avoid the new things. And make sure you have tested and prepared to use the gear you are bringing.

PREP YOUR RACE GEAR THE NIGHT BEFORE

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I post photos of my race gear all the time. I also have a really bad anxiety problem. So if I don’t have everything perfectly ready the night before, I usually freak out a little in the morning.

I lay all of my gear out the night before just to make sure everything is there. It honestly saves time in the morning when I’m not rushing to find things, like my Garmin or my Body Glide.

I’ve done it so often that I just kind of go through the motions now. I also back my “after” bag with everything I need for after the race.

GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP

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I can’t stress this enough. But this is also one of the hardest things to do.

Why? Race day nerves often keep you up longer than you’d like to be. I know. I’ve been there. I’d like to say it gets better after you do a couple races of your “new” distance, but the reality is I’m still nervous before every race I run. I’ve just learned to cope better with the nerves (sometimes).

I prepare the day before a race by not sleeping in too late, which could keep me up at night, and generally staying off my feet as much as possible. I also try to settle down and watch television for an hour or so before I’m supposed to go to bed. It helps me relax and take my mind off of everything. I almost always in bed by 11 p.m.

JUST HAVE FUN

Another hard one when it’s your first time. You train hard. You put a ton of pressure on yourself to make it happen. Just go out and have a good time on race day. Don’t second guess your training (because by then you can’t do anything about it), just go out and run. You’ll be relieved once you shake the nerves out. But you’ll also be incredibly excited when it’s over.

Have a good time. Enjoy your day, because you never forget your first.

May 5

Saturday, in photos

I’m thankful for calendar reminders that alert me when I forget to write something down on my actual planner. Case in point: I signed up for a symposium on data and journalism sometime in April. Then I kind of forgot about it. I knew, just knew, I had something going on this weekend, but I couldn’t remember what.

Queue emails sent from event organizers. And a Google calendar alert.

I’m so incredibly glad I didn’t miss it. I would have kicked myself if afterwards I realized it too late (or even worse, realized it as it started).

Sam actually was heading into the Bay Area on Saturday morning, so I hitched a ride to a BART station near Castro Valley to get to the University of California, Berkeley campus. The event was free to J-School alumni (super stoked about that).

I think all the walking I did qualifies as some sort of exercise. Yes?

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The main entrance to campus. A powwow was being set up there. Later in the day, I accidentally walked into a Queer Conference while trying to navigate to one of the cleaner bathrooms on campus I know (most exciting thing about that was the bathroom I went into was designated a “gender friendly” bathroom, welcoming men and women, I thought that was pretty cool). In total, I saw three homeless guys napping on lawns. And I saw a drama open house/demonstration being set up at the base of a hall.

All those reasons? That’s why I love Berkeley.

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I made my way up from the BART station in downtown Berkeley. There’s no real direct route up though campus, really there are no direct routes through campus in general.

So I slowed down a little and took in Berkeley’s park-like atmosphere.

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I also got some walking hill work done. Berkeley’s campus has a lot of hills. Some brutal and mostly upward. Others rolling. I wasn’t much of a runner while I went to school here, but imagine the hill training possibilities on the campus?

It’s no wonder I used to see the ROTC programs running through campus.

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The all-day long event brought out an array of speakers. There were six sessions, with question and answer periods. There was a breakfast buffet and a networking lunch, too.

The topics included a detailed look into policy in the afternoon. Questions of ethics were broached too. One of the things that came up a couple times was new ethical issues in data presentation and journalism that weren’t even considerations a couple years ago.

I didn’t go for credit at school or anything. (I filled my outside of class required time earlier this semester with the three-day journalism conference where I literally work all hours I’m awake.) I did it because some of the key concepts taught can be applied to my community college classroom. I’m already writing some of it into the curriculum for next fall.

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Speaking of lunch, these cookies were served. I’m not sure exactly what they were (don’t worry, the green on the plate is from a pesto pasta), but they were delicious. It was a brown sugar, pecan melt-in-your-mouth kind of cookie. I’ll admit it, I ate two. I was tempted to grab another one. I really, really wanted to.

The event ended at about 3:45 p.m. I realized I likely couldn’t get back to the train to make the train I thought I would. So I decided to take a longer stroll through campus. That included taking in some of my favorite sights.

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The Campanile is one of those landmarks that can be seen throughout the entire Bay Area. The first time I visited the campus in 2004, when I was considering applying for admission, my husband and I went up and got a bird’s eye view of the area. I remember going up again, right before I graduated and looking around. It was one of those capstones of my two years in graduate school.

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Sather Gate is about as well known as the plaza in which is stands. Sproul Plaza was the center of the Free Speech Movement once upon a time. You walk through the area, even now with it’s fenced-in buildings and can’t help but feeling connected to history. But there’s a sense of history nearly everywhere you step at Berkeley.

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I headed back down to the BART station and made my train. Despite sitting most of the day, I had kind of walked all over the place to get to and from the symposium.

The train ride back was less eventful than the one there, which involved watching a guy to pull ups on the overhead hand bars in a train car. By 5:30 p.m. I was back in car heading toward home.

That’s when Sam asked if I wanted sushi.

Of course I wanted sushi.

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That’s the orders of Sam, her son and me. Her son ordered this roll called the “Titanic.” There was so much fish in it that it kind of fell apart everywhere. That’s why it has the name it does, Sam’s son told me. I got a deep-fried California roll because I really wanted something with a tempura texture.

After a long day in and around the Bay Area, it was glorious.

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A little wine and a mini True Blood marathon later and I was in bed exhausted. I’m supposed to run mid-length to long run today, but I’m holding out until later this afternoon or this evening. I’m going to try to at least hit eight miles. I kind of feel like I have to do some sort of running today to at least put a dent in all the good food I ate yesterday.

The cookie isn’t going to burn itself off. Neither is the amazing sushi.

I’m kind of using this weekend as a rest for the next two. On May 11, I have the Mermaid Run Sirena 18. On May 18, I’m flying to Portland for the night with Sam to run the Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon.

Then I get a week of downtime before three weekends full of racing.

Things are about to get very hectic.

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