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Oct 31

Meet me Monday: It doesn’t define me, but it’s a big part

One of the first questions I get asked after a weekend is how long my long run was this weekend. I got to answer “twenty” today, which made me feel pretty good.

But, sometimes, I think people see me as one-dimensional. I’m getting a lot of “really?” looks since I told people I’m swimming now. I got some eye squints when I bought a road bike (which I’m hoping to finally take on a longer ride this weekend, finally).

In fact, the title of this blog sums up how I’m introduced now more than ever. “This is Tara, she’s blah, blah, blah…and she runs.”

One-day after my twenty miler, I’m not feeling any bit extra powerful. Just happy to have made it. Happy to, potentially, be doing it again this weekend with Jennie.

I’m also a little sore, which is cause for the wearing of compression sleeves under my jeans today. (Yes, I wear jeans to work. Yes, we have a dress code. Yes, I can make jeans professional. I actually spend time crawling around on the ground for video. I once ripped an awesome pair of slacks. I also once split a pair of jeans shooting video, so I have a tendency to tear apart my clothes pretty good.)

But, especially with marathon training, it’s easy to forget all the other things in my life. I do it. So do others.

And that’s OK. Sort of. Until I start forgetting things like turning in my Flex contract for school (which could have cost me $350) or a conference call, or a video assignment, etc.

I’m dubbing it “runner’s brain.”

It kind of makes you think running is the only thing in the world. That’s not to say that’s bad. There’s just more too me than that.

 

Oct 30

A twenty-mile journey

Sometimes when you start running, you don’t exactly know how far you can go, you just hope to get where you need to be. That happens to me a lot. I hop on the treadmill or turn onto my street for a run with no number in mind. Instead, I just put one foot in front of another.

I just keep going.

And going.

I, hopefully, eventually, reach my goal.

Some days, with everything going on in my life, I don’t see the finish line anywhere in site. I’m swamped with work. I have way too many extracurricular-type activities. I’m always on the run, literally.

I have days where I feel exactly like  I look in this photo:

Tired. Confused. Defeated.

And then I have days like today.

Today, I feel on top of the world.

My alarm clock was set at 5:45 a.m. I only hit snooze once. I rolled out of bed, put on my running clothes and was out the door by 6:15 a.m. I had packed the reusable bag I got at the Nike Women’s Half Marathon with about 10 different things.

I called it my “no excuse” bag.

It had Larabars, M&Ms, Body Glide, Zensah Compression shin sleeves, a charger for my Garmin and a couple other things. I filled my two 20-ounce Amphipod waterbottles with a Gatorade/water mix.

I also filled a 32-ounce water bottle (also from the Nike Women’s Half Marathon) with Gatorade for Jennie and I. I figured this would take away all our excuses for wanting to stop.

It actually did.

I met Jennie in the Central Community Park in Mountain House. It was pitch black.

We calmed our nerves a little, but the task at hand was a huge one: One 20-mile run.

No giving up. No turning back.

We started running. About a mile in we stopped at a portable toilet in the newest of the subdivisions in Mountain House. We saw a coyote. We kept moving. And moving.

Two miles. Three miles. Four. Five. Seven. Eight. Nine.

We kept counting down, talking about 100 different things. It’s amazing what you can learn about someone when running. I love Jennie. She’s one of the most honest, nonjudgmental people I know. She’s an awesome mother. And she’s determined as all hell. I’m glad she was with me all 20 miles today.

We laughed. We nearly broke down a couple times. We walked a slightly long duration toward the end (I think about 1/2 mile at one point). But we kept going. We kept putting one foot in front of the other.

And, soon, after more than four hours moving, we were done.

“I look like someone ran over my face,” after looking at this photo again.

But we did it. And thank God for Jennie. When I started to get tired, she propelled me. When she started to get tired, I encouraged her. And we stayed next to each other or close the entire time (until my Garmin battery started dying and I had to step it up to get the 20-mile Garmin reading).

And then, we were done.

We celebrated by running over to the one and only market in Mountain House and getting Slush Puppies (Jennie’s treat, which was awesome after a run that long).

My husband said, all you have to do is write: “It sucked.” But it didn’t suck. In fact, it was the total opposite of “sucking.”

I felt amazing after. I felt renewed. I felt alive.

I tweeted this not too soon after:

In high school, one of my favorite bands was Fuel. The band has one specific song, “Sunburn,” that I love tremendously because of a specific set of lines within it.

“You were gone, you were no there for me, and I cursed the sky and begged the sun to fall all over me. This life’s not living, living ain’t free. And if I can’t find my way back to me, let the sun fall down over me,” the chorus repeats.

The highlighted part is my favorite. A friend once asked me why, the real reason, I run. First it was about diabetes. Then it was about getting in better shape. Now, it’s about finding myself.

Today, I did. Between miles 16-20 I found a part of me that I’d left behind for some time. I found the will to continue to despite difficultly. I found a way to keep going even though I was tired. I found my will again.

Sometimes it’s not about the time. Sometimes it’s about the distance. And sometimes, it’s about the journey that gets you from the first mile to the last. There is a part of you that changes when you put on step in front of another. There’s an even bigger part that changes when you realize, after all, you can do it.

My twenty-mile journey, today, wasn’t just a training run. It was about finding my way back to me.

Oct 28

Good sign for the weekend

I’m hoping to do my longest run this weekend. I have  friend, who is also signed up to run the California International Marathon, ready to run with me. I know I can get through the first 10. It’s the second 10 that worries me.

I ran 8 this morning and was tired.

I’m a little scared.

Then I opened this today after I ate my lunch.

This means it will be okay, right?

I sure hope so.

Oct 27

Some end-of-week motivation

Whew, my week is nearly over. Thank goodness too. I’m exhausted.

I just finished up my first set of swimming conditioning lessons. The lessons spanned over a four week period, every Tuesday and Thursday outside of one night I was in San Francisco.

And I’ve been relearning everything. My freestyle is not what they teach now. My backstroke is okay, but not perfect. I found out tonight I tread water pretty good. That’s likely from all the leg conditioning I do running (speaking of which, I did a nice six miles with Sam last night in Mountain House).

But I found myself needing a little more motivation this week after the DNS for the Stockton-based half marathon. Sigh.

Motivation is inspiration.

It kind of propels me through the swim conditioning and running. This week it came in shirt form.

I came across a random running blog (sorry, I don’t remember which) that included a link to the Saucony Strong campaign.

You can visit the page and add inspirational reasons why you run (or bike, or swim, etc.) and put an image on Facebook or email to yourself. You also have the option of making a shirt out of it. That’s what I did. And I was surprised at how reasonable it was to buy and have shipped. It cost under $30. That’s half the price of my Nike ID shirts.

Now this one isn’t made out of Dri-Fit style material, but it will be a great shirt for easy workouts or after swim conditioning.

I added my reasons and inspirations for running.

My Garmin: It’s my pace buddy.

My family: That’s a given.

A faster mile: Always working on this.

Being a better me: This is really the bottom line why I run. It helps me be a better me and put a better me forward.

Warm-up mile: As in getting through that first mile, pushing to get to the enjoyable part of the run.

Long runs: To help clear my mind. To bond with others.

5:30 a.m. alarms: That’s how early I get up for my Sunday long runs. By 9:30 a.m. we’re usually done, depending on the distance.

A personal record: I don’t run to achieve a PR, but it’s nice when I actually do.

Running with friends: They say running with friends is cheaper than therapy. That is so true. It’s my time to loosen up and be free.

Beating diabetes: I started running because I was lazy, fat and unhappy. And to beat diabetes. Every step I ran was to move closer to that goal. And I didn’t stop when I achieved it.

My husband: For all the reasons I mentioned in my previous post. He’s my rock.

I love this shirt and what it stands for. Saucony isn’t my typical running brand (I’ve recently developed a love for Brooks gear, though) but I think every time I look at this shirt, I’ll get motivated. And I’ll remember why I run.

And, as I mentioned before, that’s inspiration to keep going.

Oct 26

Problems afoot

When I lost 30+ pounds more than a year ago, the first thing I did was run out and buy an amazing pair of Steve Madden patent black pumps. They are still one of my favorite pairs of shoes. And they changed my life.

Because I wasn’t carrying around extra baggage, I could pull off a pair of awesome heels. I did so, frequently. I even had matching pairs of flats for nearly every pair I had, just in case I had to run out and shoot video for my job.

My heels made me taller, more confident. Wearing them was a reward for losing the weight.

Flash forward to March when I ran my first half marathon. Three days before my run, I was rushing up some stairs at the local community college I work at part time. My heel got stuck in a crack and nearly pulled me down. Even worse, it skinned up my foot pretty bad. It’s no wonder I had such bad foot pain during and after the run. I was walking wounded.

I realized after I made the decision to run more half marathons (and eventually a marathon) that, perhaps, heels weren’t such a good idea when it came to running. So I gradually started not wearing them.

I didn’t realize how much I’d changed until today when I was talking to a coworker about it. My shoes today (above) are a basic pair of purple flats from Gap. They are about 2-years-old. They have a little ruffle. They are functional, and yes, even cute. But they aren’t heels.

These are heels.

They are a marked down $90 pair of Guess satin pumps from Dillard’s. They are amazing shoes. I feel like a goddess in them. But I’ve never worn them out in public. I can’t muster up the courage to do so when I may or may not injure myself or make my legs more tired than they already are after 10+ weeks of marathon training.

So I don’t get to wear beauties like these either:

Could I, technically, go out and wear them anytime? Yes. Of course I can.

But I can’t seem to do so because I can’t convince myself it would be good for my feet. My poor feet take a pounding with long runs four times a week. The last thing I want to do is aggravate them more. So I defer. I don’t wear the heels.

I have pulled them out for special occasions. But not for my 10 to 12 hour work days between both jobs.

Instead, I’ve worn down my now vast collection of flats.

The cognac-colored pair from Aldo has a tiny little heel, enough to make a big noise when I walk down the hall (I’m still, after all, a pretty heavy girl). The bottoms are looking incredibly worn and tired.

Or there is this pair from American Eagle:

(I think I should have called this post: “The one in which all my photos are blurry.” Sorry about that, bad lighting at home.

I use this pair after long runs when my feet are more wide then they should be.

Unfortunately I don’t think this is only symptomatic of marathon training. I like wearing flats, particularly because I have flat feet. And I move faster in them and have less pain at the end of the day.

But I miss the heels. I miss feeling invincible in them. (Oh and there’s a great deal of compliments that come with having amazing shoes, really. I miss that as well.) But I’m protecting my feet from injury and unnecessary wear and tear.

I think this is the point I know I’m a runner, actually. I’m more comfortable in my Nike Equalons than any other shoe. I never thought I’d get to this point.

Oct 24

Meet me Monday: My husband

It’s cheesy, yes, but my husband is my biggest fan. He doesn’t care that I’m not a ridiculously fast runner. He doesn’t care that I rarely, if ever, place. And he rarely complains about waking up early to take me to a race.

In fact, he often takes me and my friends to races and then finds something to do for the 3+ hours we are waiting in corrals, running the race and then finding our way back to where we need to be.

When I woke up with my head spinning and feeling faint on Sunday morning, he tried to encourage me to go run. But ultimately he comforted me when I decided I didn’t have my third half marathon for the month in me. My body was battered. My legs were tired. I have bruises all over my back and shins from rolling and massage. I’m generally just beat up lately.

And yesterday, after I was bummed because I didn’t run and I didn’t get my miles in, he cheered me up at a concert we had planned to go to for more than a month beforehand. By the way, Mumford & Sons, Eddie Vedder, Beck, Carlos Santana, Foo Fighters and Tony Bennett topped off with Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds makes for just about the best concert ever. Sound too good to be true? That’s the Bridge School Benefit.

My husband is good at being a “runner’s husband.” He brings me my bag (even if it’s bright pink/red) and a change of clothes at the end of a race. He lets me have my moment with my medal. He even doesn’t laugh at me for wearing it all day long on the couch when I get home.

And he embraces my cheesy moments. When I got my first personalized bib at the San Francisco Marathon’s 2nd Half Marathon in July, he thought it was cute that I was so excited. It’s still my only personalized bib to date and really, come on, that’s pretty special.

He doesn’t care that at the end of a race I smell horrible or that I’m slightly cranky if I don’t get some sort of food pronto. He’s embraced this whole running thing better than I could have ever expected.

He didn’t marry a runner. I kind of morphed into one after we got married.

He gets excited about it because I do. And that’s pretty awesome. Especially because there’s nothing better than someone you lovely waiting for you at the finish line.

Oct 23

A DNS on the half

Today I didn’t bonk because I didn’t even start.

I stayed up late watching the website I work for update. I napped during the day so I could get more sleep. It was all to no avail.

I woke up exhausted. My body rebelled at every step.

My third half in a month, the one in my hometown, was a definite no go.

And, despite feeling guilty about all the nice Facebook and text messages encouraging me this morning (thanks everyone), I knew it was the right choice.

My body wants no part in 13.1 this morning. And I need to listen to that.

Oct 22

Two half marathons in two weeks

I didn’t sleep well last night. I haven’t been sleeping well at all really. Last night, though, was pretty bad. I woke up four or five times. I ended up taking a nap at midday. It was a good thing I woke up early, though. I had to drive to Stockton and pick up my race number and packet for my second half marathon in a two week period.

I signed up for the St. Joseph’s Half Marathon because it’s a local event. I’ve run so many races outside the area I live (mostly in the Bay Area) that I figured I should probably give back to the community I work in everyday. This race was an especially easy choice because it supports a program at the college I teach journalism at.

What I didn’t realize was how tried I’d be after the Nike Women’s Half and three weeks of swimming. My legs are sore and tired.

I ran two miles on the treadmill on Friday and felt as if I was dying.

I’m not 100 percent sure I’ll be competitive during the race. I heard of a bunch of people say they’d be walking it. I don’t want to do that. Thomas and I already after afternoon plans so i need to finish in a decent time frame.

I’m using this more as a training run since I have my nice new half PR from the Rock ‘n’ Roll San Jose Half earlier this month.

So I stopped by the Stockton Fleet Feet store, which recently moved to a new location.

I have a love/hate relationship with Fleet Feet. I love what I can buy there and all the supplies available. I hate the money I spend there. And I usually end up spending a lot. I went in today for my race packet and came out with a new pair of Zenzah compression sleeves for my shins. I am definitely planning on wearing them tomorrow.

It didn’t take long to get my number (which is three digits and scares me because I’ve grown accustom to larger races, small races are so lonely) and was given my reusable bag (with nice printing on it) and tech shirt.

I also got a running vest, which is a little large. I’ve never wore a running vest, so I’m not 100 percent sure what the purpose of one is. I think it it had pockets I’d be more in love with it. I do like the reflective nature of it, though.

The line at the register to buy the compression sleeves was long, but I waited it out. There were a lot of people crowding to get the cards they were handing out to get signed by vendors for a chance to win a heart-rate monitor. I passed, if only because I already have a heart rate monitor (with my Garmin 405CX) and I needed to get going and get a lot of errands run.

The expo was on the brick walk outside of Lincoln Center in Stockton. And it was a nice day, so there were a lot of people checking it out.

So I grabbed my packet and left. I’m washing my running clothes for tomorrow right now in hopes of laying everything out for tomorrow.

I don’t have high hopes for a solid half. I’m really hoping to just hold everything together. And, more than anything, I’m hoping I wake up tomorrow and really want to run.

Low expectations? Yeah, maybe.

But I think my body is physically exhausted from all I’ve been doing lately. I think I’m pushing myself a little too hard lately. It’s showing in the quality of my runs.

So after this half, I’m not running another race half until Big Sur on Nov. 20. That gives me some recovery time. But I have an 18 and 20-miler to do in between this and that too.

We’ll see how this goes.

 

Oct 20

New swag

I got a new shirt in the mail yesterday. It came to my parent’s house in Stockton, so I went and picked it up. I bought it from another runner who has a clothing site.

And I love it. I’m not sure if it’s because it literally took two months to get so I’ve been patiently waiting or because it’s unique and made specifically for me. But I love it.

When I took it out of the package I didn’t think it would fit. But I put it on and it’s awesome! I’m so excited to get to wear it at some point in the next week for a run. Probably not for the half marathon, but definitely for another run next week.

Speaking of running, I’ve been taking a couple days off. I ran the Nike Women’s Half Marathon last Sunday. I’m running another half marathon this Sunday. I’m trying not to burn out. So I’ve only done swimming for the past three days. Tonight the swim instructor worked me hard. I’m tired.

Of note: I also came home to a second orange long-sleeved running shirt from the San Francisco Marathon. I love the one I got at my half on July 31 so much that when I saw they were only charging $15 for another one, I ordered. That makes only two races I’ve scored second shirts at. I have a second one from Oakland too because I love that one so much too.

And I’m waiting for another shirt from Saucony as well. I probably don’t need a ton of running clothes anymore, but I love getting new running swag to sport. It gets me excited for the next run. Hopefully that’s a recovery 5-miler in between my two jobs on Friday.

Oct 18

I ran to be empowered

Words can’t describe how it felt to get to a rather warm San Francisco morning with two of my closest friends for the Nike Women’s Half Marathon on Sunday. I was excited. I was nervous. I was elated. I had a moment or two where it just really felt unreal.

It should of.

Six weeks ago I wasn’t running this race. I hadn’t made it into the lottery in April. Neither had my two running buddies. There was little to no chance of us running this well-known, women-centered, ridiculously huge race.

Then I gained entry thanks to Somersault Snack Co. in Sausalito. Jennie and Sam were happy for me, but I was saddened by the fact that they weren’t running with me.

Then someone posted a Nike+ code on our running group’s Facebook page. I called Sam. She called Jennie. Within 10 minutes they were both signed up to run with me. It was meant to be. I’d gone the entire year thinking there was NO WAY I’d run this race.

We didn’t train for hills. Instead, we ran flat surfaces more than anything. We didn’t even have enough time to train for the massive hills in San Francisco. But we knew we wanted to run this.

And so we did.

My husband dropped us off near Union Square. There were a ton of people. And spectators everywhere. It was a madhouse in every respect.

There were people everywhere. I was to meet the Team Somersaults runners on the corner of Geary and Powell at 6:15 a.m. for a photo opportunity. I got lost in a sea of people. The Safeway team had the same shirts we did. I kept seeing people wearing our colors and trying to follow them. I should have known better, as Team Somersaults also had cool yellow sweat bands and sunflower clips for our hair.

That’s my swag, post race and washed. Those sweat bands come in really handy during a run, let me tell you.

So we gathered on the corner for a quick snapshot. I was able to meet a couple more of the team members. It was crazy hectic. People were walking in front and behind us. But we got a couple snapshots for the Somersaults Facebook page.

Sam also snapped one, despite holding two water bottles for me.

These are a group of awesome ladies who represent such a great company. It was wonderful to get to know them. Shout out especially to Jamie, I found first this morning and who I ran with two weeks ago. She has an awesome blog too. She’ll be running a race I’m also running in the near future, so I hope I get to see more of Jamie.

Sam also snapped a slightly blurry and unflattering photo of me while I walked back to her. We started walking to the bathrooms and literally turned around and lost all the Team Somersaults members. That’s how crowded it was.

I put my phone away shortly after this. We waited in a bathroom line until the start. And then, when we didn’t move for 15 minutes, we ended up all taking over an empty stall near our corral. There were too many people in the bathroom line for anyone to see three or four of the portable toliets were open.

Then we started running and, for only the second time ever and the first time during a race, my Garmin malfunctioned. It refused to pick up the satellite. Lame. I waited nearly 10 minutes as we were corralled to the start. Nothing.

I’m assuming it was because there were likely 5,000 other devices also trying to pick up signals.

I started with my 405CX just keeping time. It finally picked up and kept a signal a mile in. But, by then, the damage had been done. My “first lap” was 26 minutes according to Garmin. The mileage was way off. I took this as a signal from someone or something out there to not take this one as seriously as I have been recently.

Have a good run, I thought. Don’t think about it.

Miles 1-3 were relatively flat.

Miles 5-9 were hilly. But we hung together.

Miles 10-13 were recovery, with one very need bathroom stop.

And we all stayed together until mile 11 when Jennie (who is faster than she thinks) decided to move ahead. She finished 3 minutes ahead of Sam and I.

Jennie was waiting for Sam and I to cross and hug us. We then walked to the shoots to get the coveted Tiffany finishers necklace. I can’t tell you how beautiful it is. You have to see it to understand. It’s just amazing. Everybody was stopping to take photos of the fireman handing them out.

Including me.

On a silver platter, nonetheless. Love. After making my way up massive hills and pounding my way down them, these men were a sight to behold. That said, I was more interested in picking up my finisher’s shirt and getting something to eat than checking out my necklace. I didn’t open the box until about 20 minutes later AFTER Sam had showed me her necklace.

And it was as awesome as I imagined.

I own one other Tiffany & Co. item. It’s a scarf. This will be a treasured item for years to come, believe me.

The finishers shirt was an awesome yellow one too. I’m considering wearing it for the half I am running next weekend. Why? Well, if I’m slow it will show people that I’m crazy enough to do two half marathons in two weekends. Plus, let’s face it, it’s pretty awesome too.

Once we settled down and caught our breaths, I had time to reflect on how awesome the experience was. My husband (who lost me, or I lost him, I don’t know, but we miscommunicated) brought me my bag and a change of clothes. Thank goodness too. It was a warm day in San Francisco. I smelled. I was sweaty. I changed into a new shirt I bought at Niketown on Thursday. And we celebrated with a photo.

The photo above is really what his race was about. Friends. Love. Happiness.

I walked away from the Nike Women’s Half with my slowest half marathon time to date. My time was 2:53:30. But it was my best race ever.

I ran with my friends. I ran representing an awesome company that gave me a gracious free entry. I ran to be empowered. I was empowered by the 20,000 women (and men) who ran with me. Even as I was weaving in and out of people and waiting in ridiculously long bathroom lines, I enjoyed nearly every moment of it.

I’m on a runner’s high. I can’t describe it other than that. My high is as tall as the Golden Gate Bridge, no kidding. We, by the way, ventured that way to head back to the East Bay and home to the valley. We even stopped by In-and-Out Burger in Sausalito for a post race meal.

It was an amazing day filled with amazing happenings. I can’t say much more about how awesome it was. I consider myself a very lucky girl to have such great opportunities (again, thank you Somersault Snack Co.!!) and good people around me. Because that’s what it is about really. I have friends who help me navigate the marathon that is life and also help push me through a 13.1 road race.

That’s love. And it’s a nice metaphor for life in general.

That said, it’s also a little about this:

I also picked that shirt up at Niketown on last Thursday. There’s fun involved too.

We all have our reasons to run. I ran my first half to be stronger. I do my training runs to be powerful.

I run, sometimes, to be sexy and fit into my slim jeans. (I don’t call them “skinny” because I’ve never actually been “skinny.”)

Sunday, though, was proof that bad runs can be good runs. And good friends and good company are the reason why.

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